So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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