I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
