i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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