LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
