I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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