Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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