Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
