I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
