U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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