My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
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I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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