So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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