walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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