hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
