the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
