You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
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