I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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