I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
