yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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