i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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