I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
