This girl is more easily done than said...
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
