I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
