This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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