Apparently you make a good broom.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize
