so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
