I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
