covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Randomize
