Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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