If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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