I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I deserve this hangover.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
