Farmville is her only friend.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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