...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
