i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
