I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
