Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
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