He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
