I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
