Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
