It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
