my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
