The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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