so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
