I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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