Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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