Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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