I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I showed him my bush... on skype.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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