i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
