My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just found a bag of teeth...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
A bitchslap is in order.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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