The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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