Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
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