But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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