I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
