Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
