He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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