I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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