No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
