I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
