...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
