Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
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