This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize