he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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