She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize