ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Randomize
