Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
