Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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